I'm talking about school administrators who suspend a kid for having a bologna sandwich that's shaped like a gun or a student sent home for wearing a political t-shirt. Yesterday it was announced that the U.S. Postal service has been forced to destroy an entire run of stamps promoting physical activities. They did it in spite of it being a program supported by the first lady. Why would the postal service have to waste millions of tax payer dollars like that? Because the activities showed such dangerous, risky behavior as skateboarding without knee pads and doing a headstand without a helmet. There were stamps promoting the health benefits of turning cartwheels, playing sports and skipping rope…terrifying!
So mom and dad, from now on you'll never have to worry about bruises or ouchies again -- only the growth on your children's bodies and whether it's moss or mold.
I'm Pat McMahon