Sports Kabob - 1/12

Ladies and gentlemen (and especially ladies), welcome to the Sports Kabob, a skewered look at the world of sports and pop culture.

Here are the top stories:

Antonio Cromartie was asked about Tom Brady pointing to the Jets' sideline after throwing a touchdown pass on the first play of the fourth quarter, which gave New England a 38-3 lead in its eventual 45-3 win on Dec. 6."We see that a lot. He does it a lot," Cromartie told the Daily News. "That's the kind of guy he is. We really don't give a damn, to tell you the truth."Asked what kind of guy Brady is, Cromartie said "ass----.".
And in future news, Antonio Cromartie was beaten for 3 touchdowns and 140 yards receiving against the New England Patriots.

The Pacific Northwest Seismic Network recorded a small tremor coming from Seattle's Qwest Field following Marshawn Lynch's touchdown against the Saints.
In fact, if the quake was any bigger Sean Penn would have flown to Seattle with supplies.

During the fourth quarter of his former team's historically poor showing against the Lakers on Tuesday night, James apparently used his Twitter account to send a message to the struggling Cavs. "Crazy. Karma is a b****. Gets you every time. It's not good to wish bad on anybody. God sees everything!" James wrote.
Cavaliers owner Dan Gilbert then wrote an angry letter blasting God.

Auburn defeated Oregon to win the BCS National Championship.
The game was broadcast on ESPN and had a Disney feel: Oregon's mascot looked like Donald Duck, their uniforms looked Goofy, and Auburn's defense made their rushing attack look like a Mickey Mouse offense.

The NFL Player's Union calls the 18-game NFL proposal "a slap in the face."
And because of the slap in the face, Roger Goodell fined himself $20,000 for administering blow to the head.

Suns president of basketball operations Lon Babby offered fans an apology after the team's 34-point loss to Denver.
Babby blamed the team's failure on himself, the players and, just for the hell of it, Sarah Palin.

Dan Snyder said Tuesday that he's matured as an owner, acknowledged he has made personnel mistakes and said that although he pays the players, ultimately the Washington Redskins are "the fans' team."
So good job fans, way to ruin the Redskins.

ESPN announced Wednesday that Dick Vitale had agreed to a contract extension through 2014-15.
While there is no official report, I'd be willing to bet that Vitale's reaction to this news could be classified as "excited."

New Michigan head coach Brody Hoke got choked up during his introductory press conference on Wednesday.
After seeing the show of emotion, experts say that if he fails as a coach at least he'll always have a future as Speaker of the House.

Brett Favre's sister was arrested in a meth lab bust.
What a scummy, sleazy, white trash, low life. And I'm sure his sister has her problems too.

That's all for this week, leave comments, follow me on Twitter, and remember this is Jarrett Carlen saying that Phoenix is turning into Cleveland with better weather.

For more of my observations on the world of sports, as well as politics, entertainment and current events, follow me on twitter @JarrettGC.