Sports Kabob - 12/22

Ladies and gentlemen (and especially ladies), welcome to the Sports Kabob, a skewered look at the world of sports and pop culture.

Here are the top stories:

Tim Tebow scored two touchdowns in his first start for the Denver Broncos.
When asked how he felt after the game, Tebow said "you always remember your first time. Or so I've heard."

Despite being declared ineligible earlier in the week, Brett Favre started Monday for the Vikings, only to get injured again during the game.
Anybody else think Favre only keeps playing just so he can get hurt and get more of those sweet, sweet painkillers?

The Uconn women won their 89th straight game, breaking the decades old record streak held by the UCLA men's basketball team.
Women's basketball fans were ecstatic this week, both about the UConn streak and about the fact that they can now serve openly in the military

The Suns traded Hedo Turkoglu, Jason Richardson, and Earl Clark to the Magic for Vince Carter, Mickael Pietrus, and Marcin Gortat.
And while our government has repealed it for our military, the Suns have instituted a Don't Ask, Don't Tell policy in regards to the Hedo Turkoglu era.

While Carter and Pietrus are dealing with injuries, The Polish Hammer Marcin Gortat will make his debut Thursday against the Heat.
The Polish born Gortat would have debuted sooner, but he kept getting on the wrong plane.

The Eagles scored 28 straight points in the fourth quarter to defeat the Giants on Sunday.
Philadelphia QB Michael Vick said it felt good that for once there was choking and it didn't involve him or a dog.

The New York Jets are on the verge of making the playoffs, but the focus once again is off the field as coach Rex Ryan is being asked whether his wife, Michelle, posted foot-fetish videos on the Internet.
Until this story came out most thought Rex Ryan only liked to put his own foot in his mouth.

Penn State coach Joe Paterno is looking at the Outback Bowl as a combination of this season's final game and the opener of the 2011 campaign.
Of course Paterno also confuses media members for his grandchildren, so perhaps we should take his opinions with a grain of salt.

NHL commissioner Gary Bettman disagrees with Bruce Boudreau's mom: He doesn't mind the Washington Capitals coach's cursing.
Bettman said if he didn't embrace cursing, he'd never be able to listen to any fan's opinion of him.

Cam Newton easily won the AP Player of the year.
"Great!" says Newton. "What does it pay?"

That's all for this week, leave comments, follow me on Twitter and remember this is Jarrett Carlen saying that the Yogi Bear movie is the 2008 Detroit Lions of cinema.

For more of my observations on the world of sports, as well as politics, entertainment and current events, follow me on twitter @JarrettGC.